By Nellie Curtiss …
Back in 2010 some 12 years ago this week, Mom crossed the dimensions into the afterlife. Having endured emphysema and lung cancer as a result of early onset smoking as a preteen, she reached her final independence. Since that time, my sisters and I have rolled over into retirement or semi-retirement and found independence through creativity in painting and jewelry design.
But I can still remember how Mom supported our independence when us girls arranged appointments at Planned Parenthood (plannedparenthood.org) for women’s health checkups, supplies for birth control, and medical information about a sundry of women’s issues. Since Mom’s schedule was overrun with finding medical records for kind and sometimes miffed doctors and interns making the best decisions for their patients, she wasn’t available for some of our health checkups. As sisters, we tried to be there for each other, though. I was with my sister on her first visit to get on the pill.
I sat in a chair waiting for her. The typical classroom like chair was in a row of chairs lined against the entry hall wall, a waiting line. My sister was escorted into a small room with stirrups attached to the exam table. These extensions were necessary for the pelvic exam. I can recall my first time on the table; it was a cold experience and so awkward. I was always thankful when the doctor was female, or the female nurse stood by as the doctor performed the examination. A pelvic exam was always performed when a new patient came for birth control pills and medical information about being female. The pamphlets on the side table had information about menses, about sexually transmitted diseases and what happens during a miscarriage. It had information about intercourse, ectopic pregnancies, pre-mature birth, full-term birth, and how STD’s might affect the baby as it travels through the birth canal.
I always felt safe in any Planned Parenthood office and consistently received clear information about all the nuances of being female and what the different stages of life were. I always felt independent and free when I left the office after my annual exam. My first month of pills were in hand as I left. All women were aware of side effects of the pill like water retention, blood clots, weight gain, and mood changes. For many women, the pill served to regulate the monthly period, as well as protect against pregnancy.
My mother never had a Planned Parenthood when she was in high school or when she married. The pill wasn’t available to her as a young bride or before. So, she married her first love. As a result of her beliefs, she instilled a belief in her children that sexual intimacy should be saved for marriage. Like some parents of her generation, merging the idea of good health care and birth control pills didn’t mesh. She often associated birth control with free love touted in the sixties.
I have known many women over the years who required an abortion at Planned Parenthood because of ectopic pregnancy, or rape or incest, the fetus was not viable or because the woman’s health was in jeopardy. None of the women I ever met sought the abortion as a form of birth control, but as a matter of health.
Recently, we learned that two pregnant women in Poland ultimately lost their independence, indeed their lives, because the government wouldn’t allow an abortion procedure to save their lives. The fetuses had died in each woman’s womb and caused life threatening infection in the women who subsequently died. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/02/18/poland-abortion-protest/)
Independence Day should still mean that we all are independent and can make decisions separate from the government or the church. I am so grateful that I grew up with a mother who supported my health choices and didn’t dissuade me or my sisters from getting the help that Planned Parenthood provides. I’m grateful that during our lives, making choices about our health was independent of authoritarian courts or clergy. That was independence to be celebrated.
Nelda Curtiss is a retired college educator and long-time local columnist. Reach her at http://www.columnsbynellie.com or email her at columnsbynellie@gmail.com
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