Is counseling useless?

by Nellie Curtiss . . .

The other day someone asked me, “Is counseling useless? Does it help?”

Counseling used to be known as psychoanalysis (in those 50s and 60s movies where the uptown girl would see her analyst); and now personal therapy includes appointments, group therapy, and groups addressing specific court requirements like violent offenders, domestic violence, divorce, parenting, and addictions.  There are talk, music, art and play remedies.

Depression unchecked or not intervened upon can lead to withdrawal, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol or even suicide.  I know a lot more now than I did in my teen years and twenties when I was riddled with depression and intruding thoughts.  Back then, no one knew what to do with a teen’s changing brain.

As a dependent of a U.S. Air Force Master Sargent or also known as a “brat”, my trauma was moving often and leaving friends and family behind. Way back in those dark ages, I didn’t have access to counseling. Friends were my lifeline.

So, I learned friends were important to staying the course with the living. As my marriage fell apart due to verbal and physical abuse, the telephone line brought my best buddy closer. She listened to my trauma tales and offered her encouragement, night after night. We talked hours. We talked into the early mornings. She got me through death wishes and storms, until mama’s friends rescued me. Before there were women’s shelters, there was the Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA). 

There, I had a bed allocated for me and my baby among many other sufferers of domestic violence. There were classes on dealing with abusers, and how to stand up for oneself. There were classes on finances, job hunting, and dressing for success. There were even groups on self-protection.

Over the years since, therapy has been helping me grow as a human being. Cognitive or talk therapy helps me remake goals after workplace bullying; it helps me see the connectedness to others who experience the ups and downs of a glass half-full or a glass half-empty. The value of forgiving others and moving forward with aspirations of love and trust is always key to mind and body healing.

So many resist therapy because they still see the effort to heal as quackery or that God is enough. Yet, person after person who has worked with a therapist finds the counselor is a teacher or guide.  I am a much better friend since I have explored the challenges I met along my journey. For me, psychiatry and psychology has enlightened my soul and brought me closer to others and to God. 

Since this month is Mental Health Awareness, why not reach out for help? Any primary care provider would gladly refer you. If you find yourself at the emergency room, the attending doctor will also refer you. Help is available. I know because I have found that help, too.

— Nelda Curtiss is a retired college educator and long-time local columnist. Reach her at columnsbynellie.com or email her at columnsbynellie@columnsbynellie

Cutline for picture: Ink pen drawing Titled: “Call for help” by Nelda Curtiss, 2023.